I am learning a few things about owning a dog.
One of these things is that when I am sleeping and you put your nose in my mouth I'm going to have a heart attack.
Another of these things is that I didn't think of myself as one of those people who needs to be needed, but it's been extremely stabilizing to have someone else that I have to take care of. If I don't get up and feed her or let her out she's going to be a monster and pee everywhere. Probably. I haven't let it get that far but I am assuming.
She was so incredibly sweet and calm for the first three days after I brought her home from the shelter, and then one morning she woke up and decided that she had more energy than anyone knew what to do with, and that she didn't want to use her manners anymore. Counter surfing, chewing things, play biting, the whole shebang. She's also desperate to either drive or eat a car, I'm not sure which one, but she loves them. I've been using this guy Zak's dog training video's (click here to watch some of them - he has crazy eyes but you get used to it) and it's been incredibly helpful, but it's taking a lot more time and dedication than I imagined.
It helps me when I remember that she's only 8 months old and needs to get all her energy out to be good. I understand, that's why I used to sneak into towers in the graveyard. I probably still would but they boarded up the door and I'm not that dedicated.
Sometimes you just need to get some mischief out so you can be nice to other people. So, instead* of being frustrated that she decided to eat my charger because she doesn't think I need to use my phone any more, we go to the park almost every day. Because in order for me to sit here and blog without her eating the bottom of my stylish sweatpants, that's what I have to do.
And, it's awesome. Because she's reminding me that if I can peel my eyes off Instagram for five minutes and stop being jealous of the beautiful places people are exploring, that there is actually a lot around me to explore even in the 45 minutes a day I have between all the busy I've gotten myself into.
It's forced me to slow down and get off my phone; she might have actually been right about that one, I don't need it as much as I pretend I do. She's challenged me to figure out why I am in relationship with the people I'm close to, and to realize how much I've let other people take care of me instead of positioning myself to be there for them.
I've really never had to be all that responsible. I've always started jobs that didn't depend on me that much so I could quit whenever I want, never owned a car so that I could move to another country on a whim if I ever wanted to (which I never did, but I had to make sure that was an option), and wouldn't date anyone long enough for them to know me, or to really know them.
Daisy is the first thing I have ever really sworn to love and take care of, and even though it's something so many people do it feels like a huge deal for me. I can't just quit her.
All that to say, I am very thankful this little crazy came into my life. I use the term "little" very loosely, girl is thick. 40 lbs of solid energy standing on my chest at exactly 7:12 A.M. every morning. But, she's mine and I love her. Also just look at that face. Total heartbreaker.
* What I mean by "instead" is that I got over it in like an hour instead of 4 months. I was super mad.